I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
