u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize