is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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