just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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