Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
