thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
