At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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