one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
