My first STD was from a foam party
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sobbing to NWA
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
