so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
