At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
