if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
