You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
