Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
