even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
