This girl is more easily done than said...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
