the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
