you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize