i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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