I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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