mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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