I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
