the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
