I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
