Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
