I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
