My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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