I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
