I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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