marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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