Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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