just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
