I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
