you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
