R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
