uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
