OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
