Please, let me fuck your mom
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he shaved USA in his pubs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
