Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
