Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize