We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
