i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
