As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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