There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
