I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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