Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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