Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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