drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
