Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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