Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
