Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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