At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
