Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
