Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We left the knife in your bed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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