This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
