I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize