It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Randomize
