i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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