Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
