no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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