@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
