Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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