your parents love me but you hate me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
