North Korea, Best Korea!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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