i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
